What about a "Jokes" thread? - I will start.

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I solved that by adapting an anglegrinder. I welded up a toolholder fitting one of my 5" anglegrinders and fitted that to the toolpost of my el cheapo Chinese lathe.

Cutting off was never so easy.
 
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I solved that by adapting an anglegrinder. I welded up a toolholder fitting one of my 5" anglegrinders and fitted that to the toolpost of my el cheapo Chinese lathe.
Sorry however that is not the advice needed here ?

You missed the subtle nuance ?

Parting off it a nightmare on a hobby lathe. I may have to buy a real one.

... and so it begins .....

Paul
 
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Sorry however that is not the advice needed here ?

You missed the subtle nuance ?

Parting off it a nightmare on a hobby lathe. I may have to buy a real one.

... and so it begins .....

Paul
Oh no it doesn't. Unless we can find room in the workshop. ;)
 
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Don't you think having 2 is greedy ?

Paul
Definitely, but I know a man oop-Norf that would take one off my hands because he wants to make little steam engines. ;)
 
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Definitely, but I know a man oop-Norf that would take one off my hands because he wants to make little steam engines. ;)
Do I know him ? cos it defiantly ain't me !

Paul
 
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A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."
 
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After the honeymoon, the new wife tells her husband, “I think it’s time for you to stop playing golf. In fact, you might as well sell all of your clubs.”

The husband replies, “You’re starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

His wife says, “I thought you said you’ve never been married before?”

The husband says, “I haven’t.”
 
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A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.

The doctor asked her all the usual questions: what were the symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc.

Suddenly, she interrupted him

"Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She smugly added, "Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said,

"There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to sleep."
 
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My house was burgled last night and they stole my antidepressants

I hope they’re happy now!
 
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I’ve had to contact the mods about my missing chiropractor joke.


I posted it a about a week back!
 
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What all Zombie builders need ?

 
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2021 : That rectangle could see itself as an oblong. It may be non-binary and could therefore really be a circle on the inside. You must not call it a rectangle without first ascertaining it's pronouns.
 
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2 girls chatting over lunch...

NAOMI: You know, if you spell my name backwards it says "I Moan" which is so funny 'cos I love moaning.
LANA: Why don't you sod off with your silly games.

Like Quote Reply
 
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For the chemists:

Q: What does a fire hydrant have inside?
A: H2O.

Q: What does a fire hydrant have on the outside?
A: K9P.
 
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My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.

So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.
 
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